Hilarious Valentine's Stories That Are Relatable AF

valentines

 

Do you think you’ve had the worst Valentine’s Day experience?

When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you either love it or hate it. Whether you’re in a relationship, hanging with your friends or Netflix and chilling on your own this Valentine’s day, we’ve collected some embarrassing, totally relatable and awkward AF Valentine’s Day stories from the Leisurejobs employees guaranteed to make you feel better about your love life!
 

1. Vindapoo

“My flat mate wanted me out of the house because he was planning a romantic dinner in for him and his girlfriend. The curry he cooked gave them both food poisoning and they spent the next three days occupying our only bathroom!”
 

2. Crazy Hot Date

“I started to date a Kiwi girl who I met in Croatia. She looked a bit like Kylie Minogue so I was delighted that when we got back to London (where she also resided) we started to date. I took her out on Valentine’s day to a posh steak restaurant near St. Katherine Docks and before the main course arrived she had picked up the steak knife and tried to cut me with it! I went along with the game as she was hot, until I realised she actually wanted to draw blood and kept trying to stab me with the steak knife until she cut me, which she did, several times.

We left the restaurant slightly drunk and I was feeling less lucky about this hot girl I was with, and what she did next was not even funny one little bit and cemented my feeling she was a bunny boiler. We were walking near Tower Bridge and she screamed ‘rape’ until people actually came over and I had to explain she was just drunk. I saw her to the station like the gentleman that I am and deleted her from my phone. Bye bye nutter!”
 

3. Tequila…. Is Never A Good Idea!

“I was single so went out with my girlfriends in Shoreditch for a night of drinks and dancing. One tequila always leads to lots of tequilas. I somehow managed to lose my entire group of friends (after the night I found out they had actually left to go to a club without me!). The bar was shutting and the bouncers were kicking everyone out. As I was leaving the bar, I literally fell out of the door onto the street and the bouncer had to roll me onto the pavement.

I was so drunk and couldn’t get hold of my friends. I remembered my best friend lived nearby, so I took a taxi to her flat and ended up ruining her romantic Valentine’s evening with her boyfriend. I was put to bed on her sofa with a blanket covering me but when I woke up the next morning I was on a completely different sofa with broken glass all over the floor. I had no recollection of getting up and moving anywhere!

I got up and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and it seems as though I had got up in the night and taken all the trays out of her oven and put them on the floor… And my final shame was that I had done a little wee on the kitchen floor and put my fresh clean socks in the puddle!”
 

4. Secret Admirer

“I once received a valentine’s card through the door and was so excited as I had a few crushes at the time so hoped it was from one of them. It had a frog on the front which I thought was strange but still excited, I opened the card... It was from my mum!”
 

5. Tinder Surprise

“I met a guy on Tinder and the first date went well so we decided to see each other a few more times. It was our fourth date and somehow I drank far too much (I tend to blackout when I do) and ended up saying something, which I can’t remember; I probably told him I was in love with him!

When I woke up the next morning, I had no clue what had happened. I checked my phone and saw that I had sent several texts apologising but I don’t know why. He replied to one of them confused, then I sent another along the lines of ‘Sorry for last night, I can’t remember a thing lol’ but he never replied! I started to worry if he was ok then left it for a while, worrying about what I had done.

A few days later and still with no reply, me and a friend decided to call him off her phone as I was so annoyed about what I had done and really wanted to know what had happened. I just wanted to find out if he was ignoring me. It turns out he was as he answered her call and that was the end of it aha.”
 

6. Don’t Give Friends Your Work Address…

“I received some chocolate strawberries delivered to my workplace, however I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time and I couldn’t recognise the handwriting at all. Who were they from? An ex? A secret admirer? I literally spent the majority of the day trying to solve the puzzle… It turns out, my friend had delivered them as a joke! Well the chocolate strawberries were delicious, so I think the joke was on her!”
 

7. My Venezuelan Prince

“So I met a guy on tinder called Ewan who wanted to take me out on a Valentine's date. When I got there, I realised his name was Juan and he was from Venezuela and spoke practically no English. I had to sneak out after downing my wine…”
 

8. At Least He Tried…

“My boyfriend at the time thought it would be a massive treat to book us a private shuttle on the London Eye with champagne and canapés by a top London restaurant. It was not long after it had opened so it was a big deal at the time! Unfortunately, what he had not considered was that I was not a big fan of heights… So I basically spent the date praying for it to be over, while he banged on about what a waste of money it was when I refused to unclench my hands from the safety bar!!”
 

9. Wedding Bells

“To win a free Valentine’s Day meal, my brother phoned a radio station as they were running a competition for the most romantic gesture. If you heard the champagne cork pop, you got through and had to tell your story to win a three-course dinner and a bottle of wine!

He got through and told them how he took his girlfriend to Paris and whilst she was in the bath he covered the floors with rose petals and leading up to the bed and when she came out from the bathroom, asked her to marry him”.

This was completely made up all to win the free meal, and it worked!

The funniest part was that our uncle and auntie (who his girlfriend was working for at the time) heard it on the radio and thought it was true, so his girlfriend ended up finding out too!”
 

10. Two Girls, One Night

“Being a typical young lad, my good friend looked forward to going out on the pull on Valentine’s Day as he thought it would be a sure thing.

Early in the night he hit success with a girl in one of the bars we were in and she came to the nightclub Oceana with him and the rest of our group. We went straight to the cheesy room on the top floor and later in the night, he bumped into the girl he’d always fancied who was with her friends on the first floor of the club.

He then spent the rest of the night switching between the two girls meaning we had to keep making excuses for where he was to the first girl.

He got away with it and annoyingly even took one of them home with him – poor girls!”
 

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